Letters For Lily
by secretfanficlover
Summary: Lily takes becoming a widow hard, as well as going through her pregnancy alone with sends her into a depression. Warnings: James died on a mission with the order, leaving Lily a widow, depression.


**This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.**

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Agricultural Studies: Task 2: Breeding Animals: Write about the process of being pregnant and having a baby. Can be told from a spouse's point of view.

Title: **Letters For Lily**

Word Count: 1251

Warnings: James died on a mission with the order, leaving Lily a widow, depression. *Stand-Alone sequel to Dancing In The Moonlight

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"Hey, little one," Lily spoke her hands resting on her growing belly. She felt a kick beneath her hands like the baby was greeting her back. Lily smiled to herself; the cottage was lonely since James had gone. She knew James would have stepped up and been a great father, even though the news hadn't been expected, she could still remember the night she told him. It felt like only yesterday that she had found out she was expecting, rushing home to tell James.

Now it was only her, her baby, and the constant worry that came with these uncertain times. The only contact she seemed to have with the outside world was Severus when he became a professor at Hogwarts she had been thrilled for him.

_Dear Sev, _

_The baby kicked today, I hope you are doing well. I know Potions had always been your best subject, I am not surprised Dumbledore wanted to place you there instead. _

_Lily._

She rolled up the parchment, sighing to herself as she tied the letter to the barn owls leg. "You know where," she said to the owl. The owl seemed to look at her curiously before disappearing out of the window.

"It's just you and me, luv," Lily said to her unborn child, curling up on the couch with a book. The next morning she awoke, wondering if she would hear from Severus. She didn't listen to the radio, all it gave was news of killings, and the world was sombre enough already. She dressed in a red cotton dress that was tight over her baby bump. "Seems like your mother needs to go clothing shopping," she said, looking at herself in the mirror.

The sun was shining outside, and even though it was probably not the best idea, Lily decided she needed to get some fresh air, she sat down on the grass in the yard for a while. Feeling the emotions surround her. She stood up, feeling a tear escaping down her soft cheek. She wiped her hand over her face. "Don't get so attached to things. Learn to let go," she muttered, then laughed at herself. She walked to the white fence, opening the small gate and walking down the street. She saw a neighbour's house, a Muggle house. She knew it was when she spotted the garden gnome, the little man with the red hat and a fishing rod, and Lily thought about how lucky she was that she wasn't part of that world anymore, but then she felt alone. She found a path that she followed down to a lake, and on the edge of the water, she sat. As she watched the water, she saw a snow-white swan swimming over the lake. A noise startled the creature, and the swan took flight with her giant wings, and something flashed rose gold as the swan flew off into the distance.

When she got home, she found the barn owl there, it would have a letter from Severus. The idea made her smile. She took the message from the owl, feeding him a treat before sitting down and unrolling the note, desperate for contact from the outside world.

_Dear Lily, _

_I am glad you are doing well. I know the isolation can be a bit overwhelming at times. You could still leave the cottage and come and join me at Hogwarts, that way you and the baby will be safe, I worry about you. Remember, spring adds new life and new beauty to all that is._

_Sev_

She wanted to tell him about exploring the area, but she knew he would be concerned for her. She felt detached. She saw the changes happening to her body, but it felt like she was outside herself observing it all. She knew she couldn't allow herself to feel, to break. The cottage was a prison of her own making, she needn't stay, but could she leave? Could she finally make peace with the fact that she would never see her husband again?

As time changed, so did her body, and her belly grew despite her need for time to slow down. "I suppose you will need a name, won't you?" she said to her belly one day. She felt the kick beneath her hand. "I know you're a boy. . ." she muttered. She had been to the Medi Witch, and although the woman was worried about her state of mind, nothing could be done while she was with child. She picked up a book that lay discarded on the floor. It was a book of baby names, and she found herself scrolling through the book, waiting for inspiration.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H — she paged on, her eyes landing on one name:

_Harry as a boys' name is pronounced HARE-ee. It is of Old German origin, and the meaning of Harry is "home leader". The English version of Henri. The name is used as a nickname of Henry and Harold._

"Harry Potter," she said, testing the name. "Yes, that's it," she said. Realising the time, she walked into the kitchen to find the barn owl, Tilly, to send her daily letter to Severus. Not seeing the owl, she crashed back into her body with a jolt, the floor was littered with letters, she recognised the handwriting, the time had become a blur, how long had she been here?

She picked up letter after letter from Severus, all asking about her, concerned about her. It seemed like the last letter must have been dated a while ago. She wasn't sure what day was it? What was the time? She looked up at the rose gold clock on the wall, noticing for the first time that the hands were no longer moving.

Lily woke up in a strange room, Saint Mungo's she was sure. The room was white and clinical. Why was she here? Was she sick? Suddenly it came to her, the child. . . Harry. . .

"Where's Harry?" she said distressed, feeling her stomach. It felt flat under her touch, something was wrong. As soon as she looked around, she saw Severus by her side, his arm extended as if to hold her hand. The noise woke him from his sleep, "Lily?" he asked.

"Sev, thank goodness, what's going on?" Lily asked.

"You stopped responding to my letters, so I came to find you. Which was just as well, the baby was ready to be born, and he wasn't turning. I rushed you here, but you lost a lot of blood, you were unconscious for a long time."

"Where is my baby?" she said desperately.

"Calm down, I'll bring him to you," Severus replied, gently easing her to lie down.

He came back soon with a small child wrapped in blue blankets and handed him to her. "Hello, Harry," she said, smiling at the baby. The baby smiled up at her, it was clear he knew her.

"Harry? Why, Harry?" Severus asked, trying to make sure Lily was completely okay.

"A leader," she said, looking at the child with wonder in her emerald eyes.

"He has your eyes, Lily," Severus said, sitting back down in the seat by her side.

"Have you been here all this time?" she asked, looking at his dishevelled appearance.

She fell asleep again soon after, sharing the hospital bed with her newborn baby.

"Always," he replied, watching her and the child in her arms, and he vowed that he would do anything to keep them safe.


End file.
